Welcome to February’s theme: SOULMATES. Click here for information on contributing to this month!
This month is dedicated to soulmates of all kinds: pieces of art/books/movies/celebrities that you feel a strong connection to, a real life soulmate, crushes, best friends, people or art that reach into your chest and rip out your gd heart!!! Basically, anything you feel strongly about and has the capacity to wreck you emotionally.
I’ve always been a painfully sentimental person. I have trouble deleting my iMessages even though my storage is constantly full. I know what it’s like to feel like a song, movie, or book is whispering softly into your ear some secret message no one else could possibly understand. I know what it’s like to feel like a celebrity would be your best friend or lover if only they just knew you existed! I have blushed in front of a locker! I have written angsty love poems!!! Basically, I know what it’s like to have lots of ~feelings~.
My boyfriend is the first person I’ve had a romantic relationship with. We started as close friends when we were college freshmen last year and gradually got closer until “friends” sounded like a ridiculous word to describe us. After growing up badly wanting someone to love, a real relationship was horrifying. We hid the fact that the lines of our friendship were blurring from our friends for months until we were officially dating. The first time we said “I love you,” we were in different cities and I called him to say it then immediately hung up. After like ten seconds of no response I texted my friends in all caps (feelin’ real sweaty + with my heart racing) to tell them I made a huge mistake and scared him away, until he called me back a few minutes later, said “I love you,” and hung up. It was disgusting and perfect.
There’s something about being in love that’s liberating. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share sides of you that are normally hidden to the rest of the world is a weird thrill. Whether that involves a real person or some piece of pop culture that resonates deeply with you, a soulmate is a way for you to show your love not just for another person, but also for yourself.
My inspiration for this month: handwritten notes, Crush Songs by Karen O, fangirls, Valentines, diaries, Girlpool, anything that provokes a sense of longing, Kim & Kanye, Anxiety by Autre Ne Veut, habits and rituals, “Major Minor Love” by Rhye, FKA twigs, sleepovers, handmade CD’s, friendship bracelets, Moonrise Kingdom, Leonardo DiCaprio in the 90’s, Harry Styles in 2013, “Champagne Coast” by Blood Orange, kissing, the fact that even with unrequited love comes some sort of fucked up satisfaction, Etta James, the video of Eartha Kitt talking about compromise in relationships, the day before my period wherein there’s an 81% chance something will make me emotional to the point of tears because LIFE IS A LOT TO HANDLE, celebrity couple names, and Frances Ha, especially the quote at the bottom of this editor’s letter.
Here is a playlist of songs I made with this month’s theme in mind. Here’s a fun game: which ones can make me cry?
“It’s that thing when you’re with someone, and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it… but it’s a party… and you’re both talking to other people, and you’re laughing and shining… and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes… but – but not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual… but because… that is your person in this life. And it’s funny and sad, but only because this life will end, and it’s this secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s – That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.” –Frances Ha
Header is from Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet.