Gold Medal: Mia Parkes

By Kirsty

Picture by Phoebe
Picture by Phoebe

My gold medal goes to my internet friend, home grrl and all round inspiration in life (as well as Cher Horowitz, duh) Mia Parkes, aka twitter user @BITCHERY. Not only does she have the perfect taste in music, fashion, and pretty much everything, but she’s also super intelligent (her, rather angry, essays about Jane Eyre are unprecedented), she’s hilarious, and extremely motivated (or at least she seems to be). I’m constantly BAFFLED as to how I have more twitter followers that her.

I kind of worship her poetry, which you should totally read, and possibly cry at. It’s often inspired by Richard Siken, and at the moment has reoccurring themes of Persephone and the mythology around her. Mia’s poetry kinda inspires me to write more. But hey, as I said- inspiration in life. Her poems are really beautiful and powerful- the latter used with multiple meanings, her writing is feminist and can sometimes feel very empowering, as well as extremely moving in general.

Mia’s blatant disregard for her school’s dress code, along with our joint addiction to online shopping that usually results in many, many lustful tweets and Topshop linking, has helped lead to some killer outfits, and the envy of like, at least a thousand of her twitter followers. My school uniform and I are glaring obnoxiously from the side-lines 24/7. As well as this, she always has the greatest, witchy lipsticks that would probably look completely ridiculous on approximately 67% of the population, but she can pull off no matter what. And some strong selfie game to show it all off.

Did I mention she learned how to make incredible Photoshop graphics in less than a day? Well she did, and sure I’ve never used Photoshop so I don’t know how hard it is, but they definitely don’t look amateur. She also makes the soundtrack to my life on her 8tracks account, if you wanted to witness for yourself the extent of how great her music taste is. I may also beg her to make me mix covers every time I think of a new idea, but now she has those kick-ass Photoshop skills she’s a lot more willing. Basically any website that she contributes to, I’m trailing behind trying to match up to her level. Even if I made my account first.

I’d like to put some examples as proof of how wonderful her tweets are, but honestly I don’t think you could really summarise the hilarity in just a small selection, and also I wouldn’t even know where to start. So don’t just take this from me- here are some testimonials from some of our equally as lovely twitter friends (and some from @cuteindirects because it’s a lovely account and deserves a shout out):

  • ‘“Mia is the kinda person that makes you want to put on bright red lipstick and smash the patriarchy”- Maggie, @damnraisins
  • “mia @BITCHERY is so cute I want to make out with her and the spend hours online shopping together but she’s also v intimidating””- @cuteindirects
  • “mia is like a shark she could probably kill u but when ur at an aquarium and u know ur safe ur like dang nature is pretty and sharks r cool”- Charley, @tsarships

Although she’s done some amazing things, this metaphorical gold medal is more for the incredible things I know she’s gonna do with her future. Future prime minister Mia Parkes, I’m calling it now.

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