If I Had To Be A Celebrity Chef

Drawing by Brie
Drawing by Brie

“If I Had…” is a segment where four contributors complete a statement, similar to elementary school journal entries. This month’s If I Had statement is “If I had to be one celebrity cook I would be…”


I don’t have the Food Network, so I had to do a little bit of research when I found out the topic for this month’s “If I Had…” and came to the conclusion that if I had to be one celebrity chef, I would want to be Nigella Lawson. Lawson isn’t a trained chef; she just likes to cook and eat. Watching her cook was super chill and relaxing and not at all the stressful, in-your-face technique used by some other celebrity chefs that shall remain nameless. I can’t handle being in a stressful kitchen, so if I was a celebrity chef, I would definitely use Nigella’s approach. In this video, she uses mini marshmallows to whip up a quick chocolate mousse and says, “Don’t worry if you cannot produce the perfect swirl. I mean, I can’t. Whatever, they look so beautiful.” HOW LOVEABLE IS SHE? She’s also super descriptive while she’s cooking, and doesn’t make her recipes seem daunting or elaborate. As a gluttonous teen, I can also identify with her approach to eating: “If it’s something I don’t want to carry on eating once I’m full, then I don’t want the recipe.” I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SEXY ACCENT, NIGELLA LAWSON.


If I had to be a celebrity chef,  I would be Julia Child.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have an unfaltering love for France: the language, the culture, the food, everything that can be french, should be french, in my opinion.  While I am not quite sure where this mindset of mine originates from, it has something to do with how simple and effortless the French make things out to be.  If you’ve ever tried to make a Hollandaise sauce, you know that there’s nothing easy about French cooking.  But Julia Child made it, and everything else she cooked, seem simple.

I also admire her for following her dream of moving to France.  While at this point in her life Julia had lived all around the world, it still takes an incredible amount of bravery to uproot your entire life and move to a country with much different culture and language than what you are used to.

Also, fun fact, she has a rose named after her which is pretty cool in my opinion.

She lived her life surrounded by things she loved, which is something everyone can learn from.  She discovered her passion and revolved her life around it.  Also, she did this at a time when women were rare in the workplace, especially at a level of this success.  Throughout her career,  she created nearly 20 different cook books, a handful of DVDs and even more TV shows filled with inspirational food porn before food porn even existed.  She invented the term “celebrity chef”. For these reasons and many more, it would be an honor to be anything vaguely similar to Julia Child.


If I had to choose then I would most definitely be Martha Stewart. She has authored more than 75 books on cooking, gardening, weddings, decorating, entertaining and general home-keeping. As a relatively new vegetarian I also appreciate that her latest book was over 200 completely meatless recipes. Her youtube tutorials are super easy to follow and all either delicious or amazing; ranging from chocolate tarts to make your own stamps to cocktails. Just now I found out that her team tested thirty-five different mac & cheese recipes until they settled on the most perfect one and that Martha appreciates white wine spritzers as much as I do. It’s equally shocking to me that as a 72 year old woman she tweeted a photo yesterday with the caption “Cecilia moriel First Lady of chile and First Lady of Colombia Clemencia de santos at the art gala last night.” The pic was horribly blurry but she followed it up with a better one of the trio and details of her outfit. Lastly, Jennifer Garner named her dog Martha Stewart and that is both enough and too much for me at the same time.

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