The first time I was ever flipped off was when I was in third grade. I was chasing a boy around the soccer field at school, just having a great time, when he turned around and flipped me the bird with both hands. He meant it as a joke, since he was giggling, but I immediately stopped chasing him and just stood there. Back then, I was a very sensitive girl and cried when someone called me stupid, but this moment changed everything. I just stared at him, thinking, “Excuse me…” I wasn’t sad. I was enraged. And I didn’t even know what those two little erect fingers meant.
Raising your middle finger at someone has to be a full on commitment. You can’t change your mind in between, and if you do it with no passion, it’s pointless. It happens naturally, without hesitation, and with a lot of power behind the movement.
In the first grade, thanks to my babysitter (I love you Heather!), I was introduced to Eminem’s soundtrack for 8 Mile. I grew up listening to his music, and he is definitely the King of flipping the bird. I played his songs when I was angry, and if I wasn’t angry, it made me angry. I don’t know what that did to my soul or personality, but that’s a different story. In his song Bitch Please II, Eminem raps, “What in the world gives me the right to say what I like, and walk around flipping the bird, living the urban life like a white kid from the ‘burbs.” It’s because you have strong emotions, Eminem! And I have strong emotions too.
In high school, I dated a boy for two years. It was the first time I was in love. He was from a different country, and so there were times when we would be long distance when he was visiting home or when I was at boarding school. The summer before my senior year, he came to visit me. This boy ended up staying for a week, then going to another girl’s house and staying with her for two weeks. He came back, and I already found out from social media (they were really dumb) that he had cheated on me. I also knew that he was a really dumb boy in general, and it was time to wean myself off of our happy memories. That didn’t mean it was going to be an easy break up. When I first confronted him, he tried to lie. I have never been so angry or hurt in my life. I stared at his face, with tears streaming down mine, and shouted some very mean things. Before I knew it, my hand was raised in his face, middle finger pointed straight up, like when a hound dog points its tail when it has found something (a Liar) (or a duck). It was the only way I could express myself. I was fully committed to showing him my middle finger.
Now, I’m not saying I’m proud of my behavior. I have definitely grown a lot from high school, and I also exercise now (sorta) so my emotions aren’t bottled up inside. I’m also not saying that flipping someone off is the only way you should express yourself. I’m just saying, even though I’m not the first king of controversy, that it’s just me because I’m just obscene. 😉